No More Questions, Period!
by ohhemmettx3
Summary: Some Renesmee, Jasper, Emmett bonding time. What's Nessie up to this time? Something happened, and nobody happens to be home. Who does she turn her questions to? Jasper's POV.


Who doesn't love some Nessie-uncle bonding? Something happens to Nessie and nobody else is home. She has questions. What does she do? Go to the only two home -- Jasper and Emmett! Jasper's POV. not how I expected it to turn out, but hope you like it anyway! If you think of a better title, please tell me. I'm not too ecstatic about my title now, but it'll do. Anyway, review and enjoy! :D

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Emmett and I sat on the couch playing poker when a smell, all too familiar, wafted through the air. My muscles immediately tensed up, my throat aching with the burn of thirst, though I could tell it was dead blood; like a dried over scab, or a wound that had just healed. It still made me thirsty, just not as badly.

Emmett elbowed me in the stomach, puzzled. Shrugging, we continued our game. Still, I was tense. Alice wasn't home – nobody was – and the actual pain of not being near her was constricting my muscles. On top of that, there was blood somewhere in this house.

Renesmee was home, but if she was hurt, we would smell fresh instantly, and I'd be out of there in a second. I had already come close to hurting her mother. No matter what, I wouldn't ever harm little Nessie.

Well, I shouldn't say little. She was only five, but she had the body and mind of a fourteen year old girl. She was growing up so fast; it was insane.

Just then, she descended down the stairs, almost taking flight. She looked and felt frantic.

"Nessie, what's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

"Are my parents home?" she rushed.

"No, why?"

She ignored me. "Auntie Alice? Auntie Rose?" Her eyes were pleading.

"No, nobody's home but us three. What's wrong?" Emmett replied. He walked over to her and guided her to sit in between us on the couch.

"Umm…" she hesitated. "Well, I guess…" The lack of information was killing Emmett. I sent waves of patience towards him. Renesmee would tell us when she was ready, not in answer to Emmett's impatience.

"You two went to medical school," she finally said, taking us by surprise. "I guess you could help me. It'll be kind of awkward, though…"

"Whatever you need, kid," Emmett said.

"Well…I kinda sorta got my period just now…" We both froze. So that was the dead blood smell. Sure, we went to medical school and knew about the female reproductive system. But it's not like our wives went through it anymore.

I met Emmett's anxious gaze, screaming the same thing as mine. _Bella should be here._

"Forget it," she said, standing up, embarrassed. "I'll just wait until Mama gets home."

"No, no," Emmett and I echoed.

"It's alright. We'll help you. It's not like you can put it on hold," Emmett smiled halfheartedly.

She sat back down in between us, still bashful.

I'll start, I thought. Though Emmett had no way of hearing me, he knew.

"Do you know why you are having this?"

"Duh, Uncle Jasper. I've had the 'sex talk' with my parents already."

"Then there!" Emmett exclaimed. "Problem solved!"

"Well, it's not like–"

"No! No more questions, period!" he joked.

I smacked him in the back of the head, making her giggle.

"What I was going to say was it's not like they gave me specifics about that in particular."

Shaking my head still at Emmett's infantilism, I asked, "Well, what do you need to know?"

She paused, thinking about it. "I guess, just what's actually happening. And how it affects your emotional being," she smiled at me. "That's a question for you, Uncle Jazz. And how long is in between each period? And how do you prepare for it? How do you know when it's coming? Does it hurt?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, kid. Slow down there. One question at a time."

"What's going on right now inside that makes me…leak blood, I guess." We laughed, and Emmett launched into a full on explanation.

"Well, all month your uterus has been building up a thick blood lining along it's walls, so when the fertilized egg starts growing inside it, blah, blah, blah…I'm going to skip all the medical explanations for you, Ness…anyway, after a month, the lining has to shed so it can make a better and stronger one for the next month, hoping again that you'll get pregnant. But, since you're a good girl, you won't. This process will happen again and again for the rest of your life until you hit menopause, but I won't get into that now."

"I don't think she'll hit menopause, Emm. She'll be seventeen forever," I said. Renesmee burst out laughing. Her laughter was contagious, and we caught on, laughing as well.

"Why doesn't it happen until you're a teenager?"

"It happens to girls at all different ages. If you don't get it before your eighteen, though, you should probably get it checked out," I stated.

"But we don't have to worry about that, now do we?" Emmett said sarcastically. Nessie laughed, and then turned to me.

"Hey Uncle Jazz, do women really get all moody when they get it? I mean, you'd know." Her father's crooked grin appeared on her angelic face, and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Oh, yes. They get extremely moody." I winked.

"Like, on a scale from one to ten, how bipolar will I be?" She sent herself into another round of hysterics, and I just laughed at her comfort. She was completely at ease talking to us about this, unlike she was before. I was glad she could feel that way around us, talking about such an awkward subject.

"I can't really tell. It's different for everybody. But all women get some sort of strong emotion."

"Yea, sometimes I think Rose gets the symptoms, just not the actual bleeding." All three of us started cracking up hysterically. Rosalie could get pretty moody.

"If any of you tell her I said that, I will kill you!" He glared at me specifically.

I raised my hands in defense. "Hey, I don't want any trouble from Rosalie. It would be Renesmee to let the secret out!" I pointed at her innocently.

She cried, "Hey!" laughing some more. "I keep secrets!"

We rearranged into more comfortable positions on the couch, lounging as if we were discussing the weather. Continuing on with some more of her questions that seemed to never end, we felt more relaxed. A lot more relaxed, actually.

"How can you prepare for it coming again? How long is it usually? When does it usually come back?"

Emmett sighed, shaking his head. "Jesus, kid. Can you even remember all this?" he laughed, knocking on her head. Pulling his hand off, she turned to me expectantly, completely ignoring Emmett.

I laughed. "Well, women have it at all different times, and the length varies. It really all depends, Ness. You have to find it out after a couple times. It's usually a week long, and it's every month."

"So I just have to find out?"

I nodded. "Mmhmm."

"Man," she groaned. "That's not going to be very fun."

"Anything else, oh inquisitive one?" Emmett asked, making fun of her.

"Two things, actually. I just thought of them. Just for you, Uncle Emm!" She flashed a cheesy smile. "First, what do cramps feel like?"

"Now how in the world would we know that?"

"Well, has Alice or Rose ever complained about them?"

I felt Emmett's sadness dampen his spirit for only a second, but then brightened up again. Softly, he said, "Our wives don't get their periods, Ness." I knew Emmett was upset that he couldn't give Rosalie what she truly wanted most, but I didn't know the need was that bad. I did my best to lighten him up, working effectively.

"Oops, that's right. I forgot." Nessie seemed to process his sudden change in energy, and turned to me.

"But yea, Nessie, we don't know what they're like. You're going to have to ask your mother about that one."

"So that's it then? No more period questions?" Emmett asked a little too eagerly.

"Well…there was _one_ more…" She bit her lip.

"Damnit, kid. What _aren't_ you curious about?"

"This isn't a question, but more of a how-do-you kind of thing…"

Both Emmett and I were confused. What in the world was she talking about?

"…you lost me there," I slurred, speaking for both Emmett and myself.

"Well, obviously I've been bleeding here…" A red color flushed her cheeks, just as her mother used to do. I smiled, remembering how much Edward loved that.

"Well go on. What is it?" I urged, though I had a feeling for what she was about to ask.

"I need to know how to put on a tampon." She said it perfectly clear and slow, not stuttering or slurring her words. One would think if somebody's embarrassed, they would try to say the words fast so that it felt like they weren't actually saying it. I admired that. Nessie was good and clear. Good for her.

I cleared my throat, easing the strange situation.

"Well, uh, Ness…"

"I can help with that!" a lovely, high pitched voice cooed. Suddenly, Alice fluttered in through the door, a box of tampons in her hand, among other groceries, assumedly for Jacob. Momentarily, I was distracted by my love finally being home. For an instant, I was about to pull her down in a long embrace, but she grabbed Renesmee's hand and lead her upstairs, babbling about how to insert it right.

"Alice, to the rescue!" Emmett muttered under his breath. We laughed, turning back to the poker game we had forgotten.

"At least she got some advice from us. It's not like we were total idiots," I said, wincing at the bad hand I was dealt when Emmett wasn't looking.

"Yea, some uncle-Nessie-bonding time, huh?" Emmett's confidence was booming. _Damn,_ I thought. _He must have a good hand._

"Fold." I shoved my cards towards him. _Uncle-Nessie-bonding time. _I chuckled. _Sure was. You're welcome, Renesmee._ Anyway we could help her was a fun thing in my book.


End file.
